is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
