I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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