Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Plan B is the new Plan A
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
