Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
