I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
