even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
