I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
