Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
