you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
