I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
