her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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