watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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