Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I would fuck him just for his dog
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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