If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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