U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
