You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
