No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
