Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
