Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
