You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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