I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
