Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
