i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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