I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
