i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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