So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
