I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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