they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
