I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
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