I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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