next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
