i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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