Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
