Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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