We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
