He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
