ugly people sure do ruin things
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
