So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
