he was CRYING into my vagina
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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