you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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