i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
