nut hugger
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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