No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
