I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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