there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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