i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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