So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just tell him i said nine months
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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