I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
