he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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