she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We need to get me chipped asap
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
