Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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