i permit you to call me
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
