accomplished twins. life is a go
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
